Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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