Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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