i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize