there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
