Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
