Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
