I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My ass is underappreciated
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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