Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
