Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
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Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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