just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You can't special order awesome
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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