I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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