Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize