I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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