There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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