Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
