so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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