Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
