just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
