you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
