if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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