We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
