sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
