I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
