She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
