New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
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I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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