i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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