I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
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Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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