Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
