lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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