I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
