Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
