"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
