So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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