how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
