Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize