I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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