Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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