are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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