Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
