me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
