About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
