And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
