At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
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Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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