I think I died a long time ago.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
