How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
