Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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