two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.