you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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