Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases

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  (650): It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases http://tfl.nu/zsan
  Replies (17) Good night (676) Bad night (5696)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.

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  (239): it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming. http://tfl.nu/ara4
  Replies (39) Good night (5131) Bad night (783)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.

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  (410): I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time. http://tfl.nu/uvgg
  Replies (14) Good night (5442) Bad night (1058)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.

  (917): View more from New York City

  me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.

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  (317): Sitting here wishing there were men in my life. (917): me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time. http://tfl.nu/mpan
  Replies (21) Good night (1530) Bad night (5406)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007

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  (443): i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007 http://tfl.nu/tyl3
  Replies (19) Good night (6688) Bad night (1606)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again

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  (816): That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again http://tfl.nu/xxfj
  Replies (68) Good night (13083) Bad night (2465)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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  (816): He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP. http://tfl.nu/4ge4
  Replies (23) Good night (6377) Bad night (1246)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed

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  (902): There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed http://tfl.nu/rsjn
  Replies (8) Good night (2443) Bad night (1334)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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  (919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa
  Replies (18) Good night (4241) Bad night (866)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex

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  (757): You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex http://tfl.nu/b8jn
  Replies (7) Good night (1227) Bad night (524)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone

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  (513): I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone http://tfl.nu/hffa
  Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (600)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.

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  (423): Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days. http://tfl.nu/aq3h
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism

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  (813): Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism http://tfl.nu/7mxl
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (317)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive

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  (306): some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive http://tfl.nu/omm3
  Replies (5) Good night (611) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"

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  (614): You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining" http://tfl.nu/17du
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (289)

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