just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
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And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage