On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??