He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life