Texts From Last Night

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  (546): View more from

  Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.

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  (546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money. http://tfl.nu/o990
  Replies (65) Good night (2854) Bad night (713)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I CAN MOONWALK!

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  (203): I CAN MOONWALK! http://tfl.nu/d76i
  Replies (5) Good night (1987) Bad night (537)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better

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  (618): If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is... (301): Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better http://tfl.nu/emnn
  Replies (14) Good night (3877) Bad night (861)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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  (401): I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped. http://tfl.nu/rhrp
  Replies (60) Good night (969) Bad night (16179)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.

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  (778): i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate. http://tfl.nu/ob4u
  Replies (5) Good night (1143) Bad night (3649)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"

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  (214): I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt" http://tfl.nu/7s1k
  Replies (21) Good night (3815) Bad night (1242)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?

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  (251): how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her? http://tfl.nu/cyj5
  Replies (23) Good night (1769) Bad night (4166)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

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  (816): Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night. http://tfl.nu/m82p
  Replies (9) Good night (3233) Bad night (1149)
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  (818): View more from California

  She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....

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  (818): She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again..... http://tfl.nu/lpua
  Replies (5) Good night (2874) Bad night (704)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.

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  (217): Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister. http://tfl.nu/slb6
  Replies (9) Good night (1611) Bad night (462)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.

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  (508): I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat. http://tfl.nu/wq7n
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (989)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?

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  (315): Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er? http://tfl.nu/auy8
  Replies (6) Good night (633) Bad night (588)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Turn on the Discovery Channel

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting

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  (586): Turn on the Discovery Channel (586): Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting http://tfl.nu/ex8r
  Replies (6) Good night (642) Bad night (331)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.

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  (630): I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them. http://tfl.nu/i0r0
  Replies (0) Good night (215) Bad night (437)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp

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  (860): It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp http://tfl.nu/5iy1
  Replies (3) Good night (250) Bad night (341)

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