Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.

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  (248): The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out. http://tfl.nu/flyw
  Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (1321)
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  (916): View more from California

  Hey you

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?

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  (916): Hey you (732): You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up? http://tfl.nu/ejs0
  Replies (42) Good night (2444) Bad night (705)
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  (845): View more from New York

  so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....

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  (845): so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again.... http://tfl.nu/lj9p
  Replies (22) Good night (976) Bad night (5761)
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  (626): View more from California

  it was like eating out sand paper

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  (626): it was like eating out sand paper http://tfl.nu/u8qd
  Replies (32) Good night (673) Bad night (7885)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  did you know it's going to storm tonight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.

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  (630): Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister? (1-630): did you know it's going to storm tonight? (630): You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser. http://tfl.nu/f4jc
  Replies (15) Good night (3818) Bad night (1010)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan

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  (773): They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan http://tfl.nu/hlq0
  Replies (24) Good night (1548) Bad night (3435)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

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  (508): I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation? http://tfl.nu/jmz5
  Replies (52) Good night (12628) Bad night (2991)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.

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  (419): Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night. http://tfl.nu/v4wy
  Replies (6) Good night (1004) Bad night (2344)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

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  (61): Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed http://tfl.nu/qr9l
  Replies (10) Good night (4783) Bad night (1068)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.

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  (503): Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting. http://tfl.nu/fbmg
  Replies (6) Good night (2810) Bad night (655)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string

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  (403): I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string http://tfl.nu/a9dp
  Replies (9) Good night (1340) Bad night (826)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid

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  (715): if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid http://tfl.nu/otel
  Replies (8) Good night (1178) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.

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  (415): I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not. http://tfl.nu/y17v
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.

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  (732): How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity. http://tfl.nu/tije
  Replies (1) Good night (1227) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  I didn't get it..

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry. But to the original question please.

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  (859): So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong. (1-859): I didn't get it.. (859): I'm sorry. But to the original question please. http://tfl.nu/67d3
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (954)

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