ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My penis needs a shock collar
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
