im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize