last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
