Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
