just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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