no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
