and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He better not be in your backpack
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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