We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
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And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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