i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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