You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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