hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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