All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Someone signed my nipple.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
