I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
