I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
