She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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