i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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