This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
