I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You can't special order awesome
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
